Being “Spiritual,” Not Religious

Here’s a peculiar trend if I’ve ever heard one: college students at a Jesuit Catholic university running from religion and all of its formalities like it’s a Target-purchased, mini-van transported, white-picket-fence grown weed  that suburbanites cultivate and is taking over campus with greater speed than those plants-on-crack from the cinematic work of genius, Jumangi.

If you haven’t noticed the Agnostics, Atheists, Deists, Spiritual Searchers, Wandering Souls, Frolicking Faithfuls, Inquiring Minds, Hopeful Philosophers, Believers of the Unknown, Champions of Love and my personal favorite, the “Jesus was just a really cool guy” -ers then I’m pretty sure you’ve been stuck in the Campion Basement playing ping-pong and living off “food” from The Cave for the last, oh, three years or so.

If you ask the average SU Person about his or her religion, you might be faced with a face that resembles the fright and surprise that goes along with finding out someone eats their daily helping of carbs from a dumpster that’s outside their local bakery. Because in today’s higher education setting, being “religious” is as dangerous and limiting as calling yourself a Midwesterner, including all those “eh” accent jokes and overweight “Middle America” jabs.

But, there’s a lifeboat that have helped the religious paddlers find their way to shore in the as much comfort as a five-star Hilton suite (Paris not included). It’s called being SPIRITUAL, and it’s the cookie-cutter, PG-13, I-don’t-have-my-shit-one-bit-figured-out safety net that 1,000 little SU swimmers love almost as much as their “free food” at C-Street and the I-am-too-lazy-to-walk-home-from-QFC-with-my-groceries mobile (aka the NightHawk).

Being “spiritual” is like a magic firecracker that bursts in the stormy, black sky that is religion and produces rainbows decorated with beautiful butterflies. Okay, let’s try this in conversation:

Blithe, Campus Ministry guru: “So Kendra, tell me where you are in your religious life right now?”

Kendra: “Hegh? My religi-whaty?”

Blithe: “Religious life.”

Kendra: “Girl, I ain’t no nunsie.”

Blithe: “Nunsie?”

Kendra: “You know, like Whoopi in that movie.”

Blithe: “I feel like we’re getting off topic.”

Kendra: “What? You want to get a hot pocket?”

Blithe: “Let’s try this: where are you on your, uh, how do I put this … “spiritual journey” … right now Kendra?”

Kendra: “My spiritual journey? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. My spear-itch-ew-Al- journey. Blithey, hun, let me tell you!”

You can imagine that Kendra will dive into a narrative full of “I strayeds” and “found inner peaces,” making sure Blithe is fully understanding that the spirit in her has sprouted in the same soil religion couldn’t even buy a plot on. 

So, SU grads, as you enter into the ‘real world’ in the near future, remember that presenting yourself as “religious” might be a bit too unpoco for those non-Jesuiters to handle, and if you don’t communicate it well online, either, you’ll get yourself into some face 22s. 

Remember, SUPL is all in good humor and HAPPY EFFING GRADUATION! (Tune in soon for the graduation version of “SU People Love Publicly Acknowledging Good Deeds.”)